Blackbird

singing in the dead of night

Well… school is getting really stressful. The first couple of weeks you kind of bumble around and then its like “huh wtf it’s week 10 holy shit”. And before you know it exams are coming. Prof. Arif reminded us today that the year ones don’t have exams. And some year one went up to tell him that he WANTED exams. Because of course, he wanted to know where he stood among everyone else. And I was so envious! It would be great if we were learning all these things WITHOUT exams, which would take a load off my shoulders. I just really hope i scrape through this year… I guess I get to know where I stand but then again judging from my incompetency in lectures, it probably isn’t very promising. No matter right? School isn’t everything… Is it? Everyone’s so caught up it’s difficult to think otherwise.

On a brighter note I signed up for my first pro-bono session! I feel quite the failure for only having dared to sign up now. I guess better late than never. :)

I wish I was better at expressing myself. I’m very frustrated with myself right now and I don’t know what I want or why I’m being so emotional. Like wtf get a grip and don’t be so insecure.

I could use some advice but then again no one is in an objectively better position to understand the situation than I am. Note to self: Be clear headed and don’t let my judgment be clouded by emotions.

And I miss everyone being together. And being a kid. And my brother being a kid. Those times were golden.